moving too fast

it surprises me how much college i've actually been through. i'm a senior now, about to start my fourth year, and i can't stop feeling like i was just a freshman. time sort of loses meaning in college. i think it's because you no longer count it is days or weeks, but rather by when an assignment is completed, by the negative space between class, work and homework. when you actually have time to yourself, it's spent perusing mind-altering drugs, and then all time literally becomes hazy. don't get me wrong, i have no problem with experiencing this time in my life in this way, but when i have to sit down and see into my future and plan things out i get horribly anxious.

so here it is: after sitting down today i've come to realize that as long as i get into woodring this coming winter, i can finish my art endorsement by spring and then the education class will fall into place and finish themselves the year after, making me a super senior for only one year. but if i don't get into woodring pronto... i don't know what happens. i have no idea. and it freaks me out. here's hoping all goes to plan.

shittily enough it seems as though my fall quarter is going to be pretty intense. but i guess if that means i graduate in a reasonable manner that's okay. i might just have to take it easy on the 21-runs. ::sigh::

but there's yet another rough stipulation: student loans. i don't even know where to start on that. so i won't.

i don't know that i have anything to say

but maybe something will come up soon, and this is where i'll put it. maybe i'll keep this as a journal of sorts, for art and poetry and things, or maybe even of my life, which i very rarely feel the need to do, but things change. Maybe I'll even start using correct capitalization and punctuation. but maybe not we'll see.