last night and a dream

last night evan, his parents, his brother drew and drew's friend matt, my brother john, vanessa, rachel, and myself all went out to a fabulous sushi resaurant named sushi tama to celebrate evan's birthday and exchange christmas gifts. it was so much fun. the sushi was excellent, and audie (evan's dad) was kind enough to pick up the tab even though john, evan, and i all tried to fight him for it.

we all exchanged gifts too, and evan and his family are all so nice. evan got me a mug that was incredibly thoughtful because it was just like the one in this anime that we were watching, and i thought it was really neat and said really casually and with no real intent, "ohh, i want that," and he got it for me. his parents were super nice and gave me a reading light that you can attach to your book, a wickless candle type thing that has these scented waxes that melt and smell wonderful, and also $50 (way too much for me!).

after the dinner me, john, evan, vanessa and rachel all went to a bar named cheers west and had a couple beers and played pool and darts. it was great fun, and i was so happy that we all were together to celebrate!

DREAM:

the dream i had last night was horrible though, in spite of the lovely evening. in it i was incredibly sad because (i hadn't seen any of this, but i knew it had happened) everyone in my life were acting as though they hated me, even evan. for some reason i knew all this and i was in the hallway of one of the buildings of my high school. evan was there standing away from me. i told him to wait for me, that i wanted to talk. he looked at me and he started walking away really fast. i tried to keep up with him and he started running and i lost him. i started crying and got lost.

for some reason everything was different and i couldn't tell where i was. suddenly i turned the corner and there was a tent, a big one, and i heard laughing from inside of it, and evan's voice. i opened the flap and went inside and everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. evan was in the middle, with kristy huffman (who he dated in high school, and with whom we have a strange and uncomfortable history) was on his left and a girl i never liked in high school but also never knew really named lexi scamhorn (she was best friends with his first girl friend though) was on his right, and they were cuddled together in a way that bothered me. i tried to calm down, and then heard myself ask without thinking about it, "do you all hate me?" they began laughing at me, and that's all they did. they laughed and pointed.

suddenly the scene changed, and i was laying in the tent too, and they had all moved as far away from me as possible. they would look at me and smirk and point and laugh and touch each other like they were best friends (or more). in my hands i had an egg shape, and i knew it was something i had made. it felt like it was made of resin. it was dark black. and i was inserting long wicked-looking needles into it one by one until it was completely full and my hands were bleeding from it. all the while i was trying to talk to them, asking them why they hated me, and they ingnored me. when i was done with the egg i sat up, and they sat up too, and nobody said anything. and then i put both my hands around the egg and started squeezing as hard as i could. they last thing i saw were needles protruding from the tops of my hands, and the last thing i heard was them laughing, and then i woke up. i had been crying in my sleep.